Vamos treinar o seu Listening!

​1º Escute a narração e tente absorver ao máximo sem ler o texto abaixo.

2º Responda o Quiz.

3º Volte e escute novamente, agora acompanhando com o texto abaixo. 

4º Fill in the Blanks (escrevendo no papel ou em outro documento) e depois confira as respostas no Gabarito! 🤓

​

The Secret to Connecting With People

By Ernest Hemingway | March 2014 | raptitude.com

1-_________________ I didn’t feel like I had a lot of people to relate to.  Being shy, I didn’t find myself in a lot of conversations with people I didn’t know, and when I did, I was uncomfortable. I only made friends with people I was in class with or worked with, because some interaction happened in those places.  But to actually form a relationship without the help of circumstances was something I had never experienced.

I’ve been so shy about speaking up more and other forms of comfort-zone-pushing, but I eventually made a discovery that really opened the gates for me.  I see the potential for connection in just about everyone now; I no longer feel bound by 2-_________________________________.

The secret to connecting with people is this:

Always try to understand what people really mean when they speak.

It doesn’t sound like a huge revelation.  Many of you are probably thinking that you already do that anyway.  But chances are you don’t, at least not very well.  Certainly we know what the other person is saying, but most of the time, we don’t particularly care for the topic, or if we do, our minds are already busy forming a response.  Sometimes we take the liberty of finishing the person’s sentence, or even beginning one of our own 3-___________________________ .  This is fairly normal behavior, at least in my culture, and as such, it isn’t considered terribly rude in most circles.

Next time you’re out, try watching an exchange between two people.  In most conversations I witness, each person appears to clearly hold his own opinions as being of primary importance, and the other’s as being less, though each one pretends otherwise.  It’s not that we’re arrogant, it’s just human nature.  Each 4-___________________________ waiting for their turn to talk, perhaps waiting for their turn to talk so as not to appear rude.

However, things do flow more smoothly when one person’s opinion matches the other’s.  That’s when real listening happens without any effort.  But because of this human tendency to revere our own opinions, many people find they can only really connect with people who carry similar views.  With friends and family, we’ve already established some common ground, so it’s easy to really communicate with them. But that leaves only a small segment of the population with which we have the potential to connect.  Most people will hold no interest for us.  I think part of the problem is 5-____________________________ that the other person’s message is what they say.

What they say, in terms of what words come out of their mouth, is just a tiny fraction of what they are communicating.  The real message is not what they say.  The real message is why. Where are these words coming from? That why is what tells us who they are and what they value.

The speaker is rarely just trying to transmit basic information to you.  Almost always, they are speaking up because there is some desire to express what they are feeling right now.  Speech is always triggered by a passion, a worry, a judgment, a realization, or some other internal concern with an emotion of some kind.  If your friend suddenly brings up her job, it isn’t because she wants you to be well-informed about her situation at work, it’s because her job is on her mind and she wants to get it out of her mind. Respect that need and 6-__________________________ be grateful, but suddenly she’ll take an interest in what’s on your mind.

If you want to connect with people, make this your social mantra:

Always let the speaker be the star.

Whatever their performance is, if it’s a story about something their kid is doing in school, a trip to Europe they’re planning — be the most respectful audience you can be. Let them say their piece, no matter what you think of the story, or what 7-______________________________ in their place.

Really, really listen to what they say, and recognize that they are saying what they’re saying because it is important to them.  In every single thing every person says, they reveal what they value.  When you can get a tip of what people value, you can see the humanity in them.  And that is how humans connect: by understanding each other’s values.  You don’t have to share those values, though you’ll certainly find you share something with everyone.

I am not into hunting.  I have no interest in shooting a deer or a goose for fun.  But I do know some who do, and in my more conscious moments, I can genuinely appreciate everything a friend tells me about hunting.  The facts are not so important; it’s the glint of excitement in his eyes, and more importantly, the enthusiasm in him when he realizes somebody is actually being receptive to his story.  I reserve my judgments; there’s no need to say them  and there would be no communication at all if I did that.  Judgments just get in the way.

The Barrier

Distraction, in some form, is what typically prevents understanding.  Distraction is letting your attention wander from the other person’s performance.  It could be captured by what they’re wearing, a TV screen, a book in your hands, anything around you.  But the most common place for it to go is into your own thoughts.  8-_________________________ distracted by what they themselves would like to say.  Sometimes they want to respond before the person is finished, other times they simply have their own opinion locked and loaded to fire off as soon as there is a break in the dialogue.

Forget what you want to say, just drop all thoughts about yourself and your interests, and let them speak their mind.  Think of it this way: when you are listening, the most important thing in the world is to figure out where the other person is coming from.  Make it your entire purpose to understand what feelings are behind what they say.  If, when they stop speaking, you still don’t understand where they’re coming from, ask a question.

All it takes is putting your own interests on hold until they are able to get their point across to you.

The habit of really listening to what someone is saying is a rare one.  And the people who do it can connect with anyone.  I’ve understood the value of being a good listener for a long time, but 9-____________________________ what it meant to be one.  I know now: it means to cherish other people’s desire to express themselves more than your own desire to express yourself.

That idea might scare some people.  Surely our own opinions are important too!

Relax.  You don’t have to worry about being understood, and here’s why: when you make a point of dumping your own thoughts to make room for understanding, people are so grateful that you are trying to see their perspective, they’ll be happy to listen to you afterward.  By then, what they wanted to say is no longer on their mind, so then they won’t be distracted by it while you are speaking. In other words, take turns understanding each other, but insist on going first. Let the other person have the privilege of being the first one to be understood.  The biggest distraction to understanding someone else is self-importance.  Needing to say something means you 10-________________________ about it, and thinking about it means you have very little mental capacity left for empathy.  Free up yours, and it will free up theirs.

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone did this.

That’s all anyone wants, to be understood.  Give it to them.  Give the greatest of all gifts, every time you have the opportunity.  Unless the building is on fire, give yourself permission to let the speaker be the center of your universe, just for a minute.  It won’t hurt, I promise. Forget what you were going to say.  Forget how you might wish to respond.  You can do that all later.  Abandon 11-_________________________ in the world for the few seconds it takes to let the other person finish their thought.

There is such a strong compulsion to make our own opinion known, that even the most courteous among us will often practically ignore what the person says, or even interrupt them.  

Most of the time the remarks we do make are just little indulgences, self-important grabs at approval or admiration.

I know that I personally have a history of saying things for the sole purpose of sounding clever, or arousing the fondness of others.  I built my whole identity on looking smart, for years and years.  I didn’t know who I was without that approval, so I was constantly digging for it.

I’ll be the first to say I’m really not all that good at this yet.  I’ve been getting better and better at relating to people, but old habits die hard.  But now I understand clearly where I went wrong so often, and I know what to do instead.  The specific concept of letting others be the star only came to me fairly recently, and I’m surprised with the results so far.  My friends and family suddenly became ten times more interesting, not to mention strangers and clients. More and more I get to see that wonderful sense of gratitude that washes over people when 12-_______________________ a genuine effort to understand them.

And when you do get your chance to speak, their eyes will be glued to you, and you’ll probably have the best audience you ever had.The Secret to Connecting With People

By Ernest Hemingway | March 2014 | raptitude.com

1-_________________ I didn’t feel like I had a lot of people to relate to.  Being shy, I didn’t find myself in a lot of conversations with people I didn’t know, and when I did, I was uncomfortable. I only made friends with people I was in class with or worked with, because some interaction happened in those places.  But to actually form a relationship without the help of circumstances was something I had never experienced.

I’ve been so shy about speaking up more and other forms of comfort-zone-pushing, but I eventually made a discovery that really opened the gates for me.  I see the potential for connection in just about everyone now; I no longer feel bound by 2-_________________________________.

The secret to connecting with people is this:

Always try to understand what people really mean when they speak.

It doesn’t sound like a huge revelation.  Many of you are probably thinking that you already do that anyway.  But chances are you don’t, at least not very well.  Certainly we know what the other person is saying, but most of the time, we don’t particularly care for the topic, or if we do, our minds are already busy forming a response.  Sometimes we take the liberty of finishing the person’s sentence, or even beginning one of our own 3-___________________________ .  This is fairly normal behavior, at least in my culture, and as such, it isn’t considered terribly rude in most circles.

Next time you’re out, try watching an exchange between two people.  In most conversations I witness, each person appears to clearly hold his own opinions as being of primary importance, and the other’s as being less, though each one pretends otherwise.  It’s not that we’re arrogant, it’s just human nature.  Each 4-___________________________ waiting for their turn to talk, perhaps waiting for their turn to talk so as not to appear rude.

However, things do flow more smoothly when one person’s opinion matches the other’s.  That’s when real listening happens without any effort.  But because of this human tendency to revere our own opinions, many people find they can only really connect with people who carry similar views.  With friends and family, we’ve already established some common ground, so it’s easy to really communicate with them. But that leaves only a small segment of the population with which we have the potential to connect.  Most people will hold no interest for us.  I think part of the problem is 5-____________________________ that the other person’s message is what they say.

What they say, in terms of what words come out of their mouth, is just a tiny fraction of what they are communicating.  The real message is not what they say.  The real message is why. Where are these words coming from? That why is what tells us who they are and what they value.

The speaker is rarely just trying to transmit basic information to you.  Almost always, they are speaking up because there is some desire to express what they are feeling right now.  Speech is always triggered by a passion, a worry, a judgment, a realization, or some other internal concern with an emotion of some kind.  If your friend suddenly brings up her job, it isn’t because she wants you to be well-informed about her situation at work, it’s because her job is on her mind and she wants to get it out of her mind. Respect that need and 6-__________________________ be grateful, but suddenly she’ll take an interest in what’s on your mind.

If you want to connect with people, make this your social mantra:

Always let the speaker be the star.

Whatever their performance is, if it’s a story about something their kid is doing in school, a trip to Europe they’re planning — be the most respectful audience you can be. Let them say their piece, no matter what you think of the story, or what 7-______________________________ in their place.

Really, really listen to what they say, and recognize that they are saying what they’re saying because it is important to them.  In every single thing every person says, they reveal what they value.  When you can get a tip of what people value, you can see the humanity in them.  And that is how humans connect: by understanding each other’s values.  You don’t have to share those values, though you’ll certainly find you share something with everyone.

I am not into hunting.  I have no interest in shooting a deer or a goose for fun.  But I do know some who do, and in my more conscious moments, I can genuinely appreciate everything a friend tells me about hunting.  The facts are not so important; it’s the glint of excitement in his eyes, and more importantly, the enthusiasm in him when he realizes somebody is actually being receptive to his story.  I reserve my judgments; there’s no need to say them  and there would be no communication at all if I did that.  Judgments just get in the way.

The Barrier

Distraction, in some form, is what typically prevents understanding.  Distraction is letting your attention wander from the other person’s performance.  It could be captured by what they’re wearing, a TV screen, a book in your hands, anything around you.  But the most common place for it to go is into your own thoughts.  8-_________________________ distracted by what they themselves would like to say.  Sometimes they want to respond before the person is finished, other times they simply have their own opinion locked and loaded to fire off as soon as there is a break in the dialogue.

Forget what you want to say, just drop all thoughts about yourself and your interests, and let them speak their mind.  Think of it this way: when you are listening, the most important thing in the world is to figure out where the other person is coming from.  Make it your entire purpose to understand what feelings are behind what they say.  If, when they stop speaking, you still don’t understand where they’re coming from, ask a question.

All it takes is putting your own interests on hold until they are able to get their point across to you.

The habit of really listening to what someone is saying is a rare one.  And the people who do it can connect with anyone.  I’ve understood the value of being a good listener for a long time, but 9-____________________________ what it meant to be one.  I know now: it means to cherish other people’s desire to express themselves more than your own desire to express yourself.

That idea might scare some people.  Surely our own opinions are important too!

Relax.  You don’t have to worry about being understood, and here’s why: when you make a point of dumping your own thoughts to make room for understanding, people are so grateful that you are trying to see their perspective, they’ll be happy to listen to you afterward.  By then, what they wanted to say is no longer on their mind, so then they won’t be distracted by it while you are speaking. In other words, take turns understanding each other, but insist on going first. Let the other person have the privilege of being the first one to be understood.  The biggest distraction to understanding someone else is self-importance.  Needing to say something means you 10-________________________ about it, and thinking about it means you have very little mental capacity left for empathy.  Free up yours, and it will free up theirs.

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone did this.

That’s all anyone wants, to be understood.  Give it to them.  Give the greatest of all gifts, every time you have the opportunity.  Unless the building is on fire, give yourself permission to let the speaker be the center of your universe, just for a minute.  It won’t hurt, I promise. Forget what you were going to say.  Forget how you might wish to respond.  You can do that all later.  Abandon 11-_________________________ in the world for the few seconds it takes to let the other person finish their thought.

There is such a strong compulsion to make our own opinion known, that even the most courteous among us will often practically ignore what the person says, or even interrupt them.  

Most of the time the remarks we do make are just little indulgences, self-important grabs at approval or admiration.

I know that I personally have a history of saying things for the sole purpose of sounding clever, or arousing the fondness of others.  I built my whole identity on looking smart, for years and years.  I didn’t know who I was without that approval, so I was constantly digging for it.

I’ll be the first to say I’m really not all that good at this yet.  I’ve been getting better and better at relating to people, but old habits die hard.  But now I understand clearly where I went wrong so often, and I know what to do instead.  The specific concept of letting others be the star only came to me fairly recently, and I’m surprised with the results so far.  My friends and family suddenly became ten times more interesting, not to mention strangers and clients. More and more I get to see that wonderful sense of gratitude that washes over people when 12-_______________________ a genuine effort to understand them.

And when you do get your chance to speak, their eyes will be glued to you, and you’ll probably have the best audience you ever had.